Thoughts on Spider-Man and the MCU

I know I said I was going to try to blog more, and I know I promised something “next week,” and that was like three weeks ago. But, you know, stuff… I know, whatever.

Anyway, I did mention something about Spider-Man and the MCU, and I may not have pissed off all 4 people who read this blog with my last post. So here goes: Why Spider-Man will never be in the MCU (and why he doesn’t belong there)!

So, there’ve been a lot of rumors/speculation/expressions of desire regarding the Spider-Man and Marvel’s movies. A lot of fans are unhappy with what Sony’s doing with the movies right now, they feel like Spider-Man is an essential part of the Marvel Universe, and they want to see him on the movie Avengers.

Guys, it’s not gonna happen.

Full disclosure: I really like the Marc Webb Spider-Man stuff. (More on that in a bit.)

The main reason why I think it won’t ever happen? Spider-Man has nothing to offer Marvel. The current slate of Spider-Man movies aren’t out-grossing anything Marvel’s putting out right now. So are they going to include a character they don’t own in their movies, that as far as they’re concerned isn’t likely to increase their profits at all, and then have to share what they’re making with Sony?

And think of this: Spider-Man has had two movies come out already. Marvel has put out ten movies and a season-and-a-half of a TV show (with several more movies and four short Netflix series in the pipeline). At no point thus far has anyone in the MCU mentioned a guy dressed as a spider flitting around NYC. No one’s said anything about that time a bunch of cops were turned into lizard people and the top of a skyscraper was knocked over. No mention of Oscorp.

In the same vein, when Electro was destroying Times Square, no Avengers? No SHIELD? At the end of ASM 2, when the Rhino shows up, it is specifically implied that Spidey is the only one capable of defeating such a foe. It’s one thing to leave the different heroes out of each other’s films, it’s another thing entirely to make a plot point out of there being no other superheroes around.

Look, I’m not saying it’s impossible to deal with those issues. Certainly some clever screenwriting, maybe a dedicated episode of Agents of SHIELD. I’m just saying, it’s not worth the trouble Marvel Studios would have to go to, considering it’s a character they don’t even own.

So what if they get the rights to the character back? Well, that’s even less likely. Sony just made another movie, they’re going to have those rights for a while, unless Marvel’s willing to pay for them. And, again, why would they be? People were complaining about the first Marc Webb Spider-Man being a reboot of a movie franchise that was only ten-year-old. They’re not going to complain about this? People aren’t going to be confused with a new Spidey so soon after the old one?

It’s just plain not worth the effort.

And here’s why I think it shouldn’t happen:

Spider-Man doesn’t belong in the MCU. He just doesn’t fit.

What’s one of Spider-Man’s most defining characteristics? His secret identity. Juggling Peter Parker and Spider-Man is an essential aspect of his personality. So much so that when they had him reveal his identity in the comics, they decided it was such a bad idea they immediately retconned it in a way that most people consider to be the clumsiest and most ill-conceived retcon in comics history, even as they almost unanimously agree it was absolutely necessary.

The problem is that secret identities don’t exist in the MCU. The very first Marvel movie ended with Tony Stark revealing himself to be Iron Man, and that was enough to set the standard for the MCU. Everyone knows Captain America is Steve Rogers. Thor is just Thor. That’s not a costume, that’s just what he wears. Probably most people don’t know who Hawkeye and Black Widow are, in the same way that I don’t know who the SEAL team members who took out Bin Laden are.

I hear a lot of comments about the Civil War movie along the lines of “How are they going to do Civil War when they don’t have Spider-Man and there aren’t any secret identities?” Obviously it’ll be about something else. The Civil War event wasn’t about secret identities. It was about a rift in the superhero community. A civil war, if you will. They can have that rift be about anything they want. They can have it be about Stark wanting to head SHIELD and Cap wanting to keep it shut down, for example.

The other reason Spider-Man doesn’t really belong is, to be honest, he’s too well known for the MCU. One of the biggest factors in what made the MCU what it is is that Marvel didn’t have the rights to their biggest characters.

Without Spider-Man and the X-Men, Marvel had to make people care about characters they’d never heard of before. Sure, if you were a comic book fan, you knew who Iron Man was, but if you weren’t, you probably just thought of that Black Sabbath song (or that really weird Japanese movie).

They had to build people’s awareness of these characters, and draw them in, with well-crafted movies. They did that the only way it can be done: by bringing in people with a clear vision and allowing them to see that vision through. When I first heard they were making an Iron Man movie, I genuinely didn’t care. When I heard Jon Favreau was directing, and RDJ was playing Stark, that’s when I started to get excited.

I’m starting to meander away from the point here. The point is that the MCU thrives on characters that wider audiences aren’t familiar with. Stories they can tell from scratch. Probably the weakest point of Man of Steel for me was that I was expected to care about and understand the characters without the movie doing the work or making me care. Like they decided “Well, that’s Lois Lane, you know who Lois Lane is, right?” No, I don’t know who this Lois Lane is, you have to show me.

Meandering again. I think the point is adequately made. There’s just no reason for the MCU to care about Spider-Man. That’s why he belongs over there in his own world, with his own movies.

And, look, those movies are good movies. I never read the early Spidey stuff when I was young, so I never really cared about Gwen Stacey. But man, I believed in that relationship. They sold that. And Garfield is a great Peter Parker. And the action is very well-done. These are just some solid superhero movies.

But, guys (talking to Sony this time), Spider-Man simply doesn’t have an Avengers-style franchise in him. All the best Spider-Man characters need to orbit around Spider-Man. Those spinoffs just aren’t going to be able to sustain themselves.

Seriously, I usually defend Hollywood and the motives of film studios, but this habit of trying to turn every goddamn thing into the Avengers is idiotic, and it needs to stop. You’re going to destroy the movie industry. Again.

Also, despite everything I just said, I kind of really want the new Fantastic Four movie to tank, like hard enough that Marvel gets the rights back in time to cram an FF teaser into Black Panther. Because Doctor Doom is the greatest villain in the Marvel Universe, and he really belongs over there with everyone else. And yes, that kind of contradicts everything I just said about Spidey, but really, those movies were never anywhere near as popular as any of the Spider-Man movies, even the really bad one.

Okay, end of rant. Assuming you’ve made it this far, I’ll have a pretty good announcement in a few days. And it won’t be 1300 words long, I promise.

That’s all. Next time, I’ll explain why Agents of SHIELD is a great show, and also the worst thing to happen to the MCU. Maybe. That one might be tough to get through, even for me.