Last thing about Spider-Man movies, I swear (UPDATED)

So I’ve been meaning to say something about this Spider-Man business, mainly because I was so certain it was never going to happen, and now, clearly, it is happening. I would have liked to post something right after the announcement, but quite honestly I just haven’t had then time.

Anyway, yeah. Marvel announced that they made a deal with Sony allowing them to use Spider-Man in their movies. And the nerd-world had a collective orgasm. While I was certainly not surprised at the overwhelming support for this decision, I’m definitely not joining in the enthusiasm.

Look, I know it’s going to seem like, being the one guy shouting that this was never going to happen, now I have to say it’s a bad idea to save face. But, really, I think this is a bad idea. I’m not going to go over all the reasons why. I've done that before, anyone interested can go look at what I’ve already said on the subject.

Just want to mention, though, that Spider-Man has had five movies in thirteen years. This is a known property, and to audiences that aren't familiar with the comics, this is going to make about as much sense as suddenly throwing the Ghostbusters onto the Avengers.

So the details of the deal, as far as I’m aware, are as such: Marvel can use Spider-Man in their movies however they wish, but Sony can basically ‘veto’ if they don’t like what Marvel’s doing. And Sony gets a cut from any Marvel movie Spider-Man is in. Marvel has input into Sony’s Spider-Man movies, but Sony doesn’t have to listen to them if they don’t want to. I don’t know if Marvel gets a cut of Sony’s Spider-Man movies, but I highly doubt it. And, apparently, Kevin Feige will be co-producing Sony’s Spider-Man movies for free.

The interesting thing, to me, is that when these details came to light, the comment people kept making was that Marvel got the use of Spider-Man “for nothing.” Like this is some kind of steal for Marvel.

Guys, really, Sony comes out so far on top in this it’s not even funny. Like no contest.

Sony gets a cut from any Marvel movie Spider-Man is in. So they get a percentage on some highly successful movies for doing literally nothing other than saying “Yeah, go ahead.” That’s just free money for them. Plus any Spider-Man movie they make is going to bring in a wider audience now that the character is part of the Marvel lineup. They can do whatever dumbass thing they want with the character, and Marvel just has to put up with it. More than that, they have to incorporate that into their stories.

Because he’s a part of it now. Once he shows up in Civil War, Spider-Man is officially, canonically, a part of the MCU. And anything that Sony does with Spider-Man is officially, canonically, a part of the MCU. Do you remember the things that Sony has done with Spider-Man so far?

Also, Sony gets Kevin Feige for free.

So Sony gets a huge, huge, huuuuge lifeline. And Marvel? Was Marvel having any real problems without Spider-Man? Other than the comic fans wanting him there? And really, that was as much because they didn’t like the Sony movies as anything else.

So Marvel now “gets” to use this character, in exchange for sharing their profits with another company. Because there are literally no other characters in the Marvel universe that can fill the shoes of Spider-Man?

Guys, there are probably at least dozens of characters that could fill Spider-Man’s shoes in the movies. Did anyone look at the New Warriors? Young Avengers? The Initiative? Kamala Khan? This new Nova kid?

My pick? Cloak and Dagger. Not going to explain why. Just like them.

**UPDATE: So there is a rumor going around - and so far it's just a rumor, so I'm taking this with a sizable dose of salt - that they might be looking for a person of color to play Spider-Man, and that Spider-Man might not even be Peter Parker. *cough*cough*Miles Morales*cough*cough*

So I'll say this. If they choose to use Miles Morales instead of Peter Parker, I will have 1000%  more faith in this move. If they cast a person of color as Peter Parker, look, I'm not gonna complain about the sudden race shift, it really won't bother me at all. But it won't change my opinion on the move.**

Seriously, there is no reason why Marvel should make such a one-sided deal. The beauty of having the Marvel universe at your disposal is having a character to fill literally anything you need. Usually there's a few.

The only thing that gives me any hope here is the rumor that Marvel was really trying to get Spider-Man for Civil War, which to me implies that the decision is based more on the story they have than on them buckling to fan pressure or whatever.

Okay, I’m gonna call this a wrap. There are other things I could add here, but my thoughts get less and less coherent as I go, so I’m just gonna stop here.

Check out Anonymous Nancy on comiXology. Check out the tumblr for my upcoming project, Campaigners.

I'll be locking down a convention schedule soon, so keep an eye out for that. And keep an eye out for my next blog about how Batman v Superman is proof positive that Warner Brothers has literally no idea what to do with DC.